Finding Healthy Love

/Finding Healthy Love

Looking For Healthy Love? Stop Competing To Be Chosen

"I'll settle down when I find the right woman." That's BULLSHIT! A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for "All you can eat" has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life! Being a relationship partner's No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you're still competing, he [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The 5 Phases of Dating

Dating has only one purpose if your goal is to one day establish a healthy, sustainable, loving relationship of H.E.R. (Honor, Esteem and Respect): That is to learn the truth of who people are, in order to determine who is safe for intimate access to your body, money, heart and home; who is not; and most importantly, to recognize and avoid the latter before they can do damage to you [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: True Love—How To Use Science To Understand Love

In the Grown Zone (and, specifically, in our book Loving In The Grown Zone), we provide fundamental decision-making principles to those in pursuit of healthy relationships of H.E.R. (honor, esteem and respect), also referred to as “Good Love.” The equivalent of such sustainable, loving relationships is called “True Love” by renowned neurologist Fred Nour, M.D., the author of a challenging and insightful new book, True Love: How To Use Science [...]

Success Without The Mess: Say No To Suffering In Relationships

Professional success. But life is a mess. We see it every day, and it can be hard to watch. The high-ranking corporate executive whose self-esteem and financial resources are slowly, steadily being drained by one love interest after another. For some reason, each man she gets involved with becomes under/unemployed shortly after their relationship begins, leaving her as the primary source of income in the partnership. And invariably, each relationship ends upon [...]

4 Reasons We Are Convinced That We’re Unlovable

One of the key factors in your inability to find and maintain healthy relationships are the haunting beliefs, even if unspoken, that you are unworthy or undeserving of love. Once you adopt these beliefs (even if unconsciously), you sabotage your ability to prepare for, recognize, attract and engage in healthy relationships of honor, esteem and respect. It's important to understand how we often use facts as justification for adopting false and self-sabotaging beliefs. [...]

Is A Mindset of Limited Options Keeping You From The Relationship You Deserve?

To all my single sisters, question for you... Would you rather have a wealthy man who provides everything for you, ensures that you never want for anything, you travel regularly, and are able to pursue your dreams because he doesn't mind supporting them financially, but he admits and you are aware that he sleeps with other woman on occasion (with protection)? OR Would you rather be involved with a man [...]

Reject the Dangerous Notion That Men Are Hunters And Women Are Their Prey

I am so tired of people pushing the whole "men are hunters" crap when it comes to relationships. It's just not true. Even worse, this widely promoted belief is unhealthy for both men and women. For my more religious brothers and sisters, please allow me to point out that Adam's original job assignment was gardener, not hunter. He was assigned stewardship of the garden (not the hunting grounds) of Eden. So [...]

Love Is Not An Addiction: If It’s Real, It’s Worth Waiting For

Do you know an addict—someone hooked on alcohol, cocaine, meth, heroin? If you’ve known anybody addicted to any of these mind altering drugs then you know that the longer they’re addicted the more bold and reckless they become about getting it. From the first hit, all they know is that nothing has ever made them feel like that before and they look forward to the next hit. After a few [...]

How To Find And Keep The Greatest Love Of Your Life

You can’t have a faithful and fulfilling relationship with excellence while cheating with mediocrity. This is true in all areas of endeavor, from business to music and sports; it also applies to love and relationships. You don’t always get what’s healthy for you in love and relationships; but you always get what you accept. Unfortunately, too many of us never experience Grown, loving relationships of H.E.R.—Honor, Esteem and Respect—because we have [...]

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]