Finding Healthy Love

/Finding Healthy Love

How To Find And Keep The Greatest Love Of Your Life

You can’t have a faithful and fulfilling relationship with excellence while cheating with mediocrity. This is true in all areas of endeavor, from business to music and sports; it also applies to love and relationships. You don’t always get what’s healthy for you in love and relationships; but you always get what you accept. Unfortunately, too many of us never experience Grown, loving relationships of H.E.R.—Honor, Esteem and Respect—because we have [...]

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 3

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 3 of this three-part series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice: Part 3: The definition of relationship success [...]

3 Things Keeping You From The Healthy Love You Say You Want

You say you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So why do your only options seem to be settling for less or being alone? If you are like most people, when asked about their dream relationship, you talk about wanting love, trust, respect, great sex, joyful intimacy and emotional safety. However, despite this near universal agreement on relationship desires and goals, the odds are that you are among [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 2

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 2 of this series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice: Part 2: To find true love you need [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 1

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. We start with: Part 1: Communication is the key to healthy relationships. “Better communication” is the near-universal, go-to solution for relationship problems, with countless [...]

In The Quest for Love, Choose Good For You Over Good To You

Healthy, loving relationships are about how well you are treated, not just how you are made to feel.—Alfred Edmond Jr. This is one of the guiding principles of our book, Loving In The Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem and Respect (Balboa Press). Authentic love is about the quality of treatment between relationship partners. However, too often, [...]

The Real Reason It’s So Hard to Find Love. (It’s Not What You Think.)

Our need for love is present from our time in the womb; our capacity for healthy growth and development (physical, mental and emotional) depends on it. We are born with both a predisposition to give and a longing to receive love, with our capacity to effectively do either relying on the other being fulfilled. So if we all have the capacity to love, and we all need love, why is [...]

Relationship Goals: What Good, Healthy Love Looks Like

Water is necessary to live. But not all water is safe to drink; in fact, if it is contaminated, it can be quite deadly. The same applies to relationships. To be Grown is to set higher standards for what healthy love and loving are—to accept not just anything that passes for love, but nothing less than Grown, healthy love, what we call Good Love. Helping people to stop chasing substitutes [...]

Why It Pays To Learn How To Love

You were born with both the need and the capacity to love, but you weren’t born knowing (and were likely never taught) how to create and grow healthy relationships. Your success, security and happiness depends on your willingness to invest time, attention, money and intention to learn. Here are three important reasons to boost your L.Q. (love quotient) by committing to relationship education: To protect your money, financial assets and earning power. [...]