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Grown Love and Money: 7 Safety Checks Before Engaging In Financial Intimacy

Romance equals intimacy, and for many, that includes our finances. Examples of financial intimacy include signing on an apartment lease, opening joint bank or credit accounts, extending loans; paying bills or making other financial gifts; and sharing ATM pass words, bank account numbers and other financial information. We make some of our most damaging money decisions because we mistakenly think (with plenty of social endorsement from family, church and popular [...]

Lela Rochon and Antoine Fuqua: Weight Gain Does Not Cause Infidelity And Weight Loss Can’t Prevent It

During an interview for a radio show, I was asked about the Antoine Fuqua/Lela Rochon/Nicole Murphy situation, and specifically about the idea that actor Rochon’s weight gain created the opportunity/justification for infidelity. Movie director Fuqua (who as of this post, is still married to Rochon) and Murphy (the former wife of actor and comedian Eddie Murphy) were caught kissing by paparazzi, the photo of which was widely publicized by TMZ. [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: Breaking Bonds, How To Divorce An Abuser and Heal

Without a clearly defined guide to decision making in pursuit of healthy romantic relationships (such as that provided by our book Loving In The Grown Zone), it is surprisingly easy to end up in a relationship, including marriage, with an abusive partner. Unfortunately, when it comes to getting out of such relationships, it’s the exact opposite. Not only can it be extremely difficult to end a relationship with an abusive [...]

Why Are The Most Loving People Treated So Poorly In Relationships?

You attract what you are. This frequently shared piece of life and relationship advice is often difficult for people who repeatedly experience mistreatment in relationships to buy into. Based on their experiences, they have come to believe the following: The more kind, loyal and loving you are, the more attractive you become to those who are the opposite—mean, unfaithful, abusive and dishonest. RELATED: 3 Things Keeping You From The Healthy [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The C-Word, Celibacy, My 28-Year Journey

A Grown woman is a healthy, whole, and content person, who chooses life alone over anything less than loving, loyal and respectful treatment in a relationship with another person. She sets a high standard based on self-love, and won’t consider anyone who does not rise to it.... In the meantime, she is focused on her own growth and personal development, not dictated to by a biological clock nor passing months [...]

Looking For Healthy Love? Stop Competing To Be Chosen

"I'll settle down when I find the right woman." That's BULLSHIT! A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for "All you can eat" has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life! Being a relationship partner's No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you're still competing, he [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The 5 Phases of Dating

Dating has only one purpose if your goal is to one day establish a healthy, sustainable, loving relationship of H.E.R. (Honor, Esteem and Respect): That is to learn the truth of who people are, in order to determine who is safe for intimate access to your body, money, heart and home; who is not; and most importantly, to recognize and avoid the latter before they can do damage to you [...]

7 More Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly remind you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love or to secure love from others. This “conventional [...]

4 Grown Keys For Dealing With Family Drama

And you thought romantic relationships were tough. For most of us, the challenges of dating or dealing with drama from a lover pales in comparison to the overwhelming baggage and potential for conflict that comes with spending holidays with family. More Americans travel for Thanksgiving than for any other holiday. Year after year, some family members look forward to spending time together, while others dread the experience and are more [...]

Buy Love, Get Trouble: The “Sexploitation” of Kevin Hart

Something to consider: The latest celebrity "sexploitation" scandal, this time involving globally famous and highly paid actor/comedian Kevin Hart (and his pregnant current wife/alleged former mistress, and a current "side chick" who apparently attempted to use a sex tape to extort money from him), is just the latest illustration of how our decisions in pursuit of sex and relationships often result in major financial and business as well as emotional [...]