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Is A Mindset of Limited Options Keeping You From The Relationship You Deserve?

To all my single sisters, question for you... Would you rather have a wealthy man who provides everything for you, ensures that you never want for anything, you travel regularly, and are able to pursue your dreams because he doesn't mind supporting them financially, but he admits and you are aware that he sleeps with other woman on occasion (with protection)? OR Would you rather be involved with a man [...]

Why Church-Based Premarital Counseling Does Not Prevent Divorce

The fact that you both love God does not automatically qualify you to love each other.—Grown Zone Relationship Education Co-Creator Alfred A. Edmond Jr. In the Grown Zone, we often challenge conventional wisdom, including overvalued and ineffective beliefs about how to create and sustain healthy relationships. One of these beliefs is the idea that church-based premarital counseling alone can provide engaged couples with enough preparation to establish a healthy, sustainable marriage. RELATED: [...]

My Story: The High Price of Foregoing Relationship Education

Would you invest, say, $10,000 on a program of relationship education to avoid more than $100,000 in expenses and other costs resulting from poor relationship choices? Today, that’s a no-brainer for me: Absolutely, I would. But that was not always the case. For most of my adult life, like most people, I was firmly committed to the follow-your-heart, learn-by-experience, anything-for-love approach to relationships. By my 40th birthday, the results of [...]

Esteemable Goals: Making New Year’s Resolutions That Matter to You

Each New Year, people commit (or recommit) to wishes, dreams and desires for their lives, also known as resolutions. Unfortunately, breaking resolutions is as much a tradition as making them. However, making and breaking promises, especially to yourself, is not Grown, because it is unhealthy; it diminishes your love and esteem for self. Your capacity to make and keep healthy commitments to yourself is a major sign of being truly [...]

3 Signs That She’s Not A Grown Woman

She’s got curves for days, luxurious tresses down her back, and a fantastic wardrobe that says sexy fashionista at work, at the club, and even at church. Earning an advanced degree has led to a six-figure position at a major corporation; she earns additional income as a freelance model. She has perfect credit and six-pack abs. And parked in front of her condo is her current-model luxury car, with a [...]

3 Signs That He Is Not A Grown Man

A significant proportion of unhealthy relationships are the result of the failure to differentiate between a man, who is merely an adult male, and a Grown man. Sadly, too many men were never taught how to be Grown (or worse, had role models who taught them anything but Grown manhood), and too many women don’t know one when they see or meet one—or are too willing to settle for less, [...]

Get Better At Severing Ties: Amicable Breakups

I wish people understood the power in severing ties when they’re no longer aligned with the people in their lives.  People-possession is dangerous. There are a gazillion people on the planet and there’s nobody—not a single person—who you can’t happily live without. RELATED: Your Relationship Is Over. Now What? Having ended many relationships (romantic, business, with friends, and yes, even with relatives) upon realizing that continuing as we were was not [...]

Intention: The Key To Success In Life, Love And Relationships

How do you get what you want in life, love and relationships? Well, here’s what does not work: merely wishing for, wanting, needing and/or deserving it. You can’t succeed without intention. When people share access to the same information, resources, opportunities and experiences, yet do not get the same results, intention is the difference. Intention has nothing to do with what you wish for, hope for or what you say is important to you. [...]

3 Acts Of Holiday Season Foolery You Need To Avoid

Most adult-and-messy choices are a result of making decisions for a reason or a season that result in unintended lifetime consequences. This truth is even more evident during the holiday season, when we make exceptions for unhealthy relationship choices and poor treatment that we’d never tolerate during the rest of the year. The result: unhealthy, holiday foolery, the kind you need to fortify yourself against in order to enjoy the [...]

Would You Let A 5-Year-Old Drive? Too Many People Do

I want to share an encounter with you, and through it, hopefully, you’ll be able to have an inner-child revelation of your own and stop letting him/her drive your life! I met an absolutely gorgeous, educated, delightful lady recently at the DMV who rejected every compliment I gave her. After our encounter (which lasted over an hour) and before we parted ways with tears in her eyes, she said, “I [...]