Beyond Adult: Graduating To Grown

/Beyond Adult: Graduating To Grown

Don’t Be A Casualty Of Casual Sex: 3 Reasons To Be More Careful

If you’ve ever been a victim of your own physical desires, i.e. you’ve slept with someone who looked good (or good enough), with no relationship beyond the encounter and no real knowledge of anything about him or her, you are a casualty of casual sex. As adults we are free to share our bodies with whomever we want. However, as Grown people, we need to be more careful about who [...]

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

Stop Being Fooled By ‘I Love You’

Who are the easiest people to lie to? Those who truly, even desperately, want to believe the liar—especially if they’re desirous of, or emotionally invested, in a relationship with that person. It’s why many parents believe their children when they say that they’re doing fine in school, never experiment with drugs and are not sexually active, even when confronted with evidence (condoms and rolling papers, but no homework or studying) [...]

The Key To Success Is Not Loving What You Do, But Loving Who You Are

Conventional motivational wisdom preaches the importance of finding your passion, discovering and doing the things you love to do (even feel born to do) as the key to success and happiness. RELATED: 15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don’t I disagree. Success and happiness are not about discovering, learning and loving what you do. They’re about discovering, learning and loving who you are. (These are NOT the same [...]

Preparing For Love Means Facing The Truth About Your Grandparents’ Marriage

You wanna know how your grandparents “worked through” their problems and didn’t divorce? ‘Cause ya grandmamma most likely didn’t have her own assets or income and depended on your grandfather to support her and the family. She had no choice but to work it out. Also, the stigma a divorced woman would face? Pfffffft. Trust me, a lot of y’all’s grandfathers are/were awful people and your grandmother would’ve left him [...]

Why The Love You Seek From Others Can’t Substitute For Self-Love

The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself. You will never gain unconditional love and acceptance from others if you won’t give it to yourself. The above statements are one of the foundational principles of Grown Zone Relationship Education, one of the concepts we've identified as among the "15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don't." Regardless of your relationship [...]

Life (And Purpose) Reimagined: My Journey From Black Enterprise to The Grown Zone

At my office at Black Enterprise being interviewed by Ramon Ray for Smart Hustle Magazine. I’m blessed to be in my 30th year as a business and financial journalist, editor and media executive, experienced in print, TV, radio, online and social media content platforms. I also have more than 20 years experience as a business plan and elevator pitch competition judge, and an advisor/mentor to entrepreneurs and new [...]

3 Reasons To Have Sex On The First Date (And Why Grown People Don’t Buy Into Them)

 “Yes, we had sex on the first date. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with that. I’m grown!” Sex on the first date is a classic example of what you have the adult right to do, but is rarely, if ever, the Grown, healthy, self-loving thing to do, especially if your goal is a loving, sustainable relationship of honor, esteem and respect. The societal stigma associated with first-date [...]

“All Men Cheat!” (Actually, Not Really.)

“Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.” Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating). The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll [...]