Avoiding Unhealthy Relationships

/Avoiding Unhealthy Relationships

3 Romantic Notions You Must Reject For Your Own Good

An important step in making healthy decisions in the pursuit of loving, romantic relationships of honor, esteem and respect, is rejecting the romantic—and misguided—notions that many of us have been taught about what it takes to find love. It is critical that you identify and challenge these ideas and beliefs—whether planted by your parents, peers, popular culture, religious upbringing or other sources—and uproot them, especially when they don’t prove to [...]

3 Reasons To Have Sex On The First Date (And Why Grown People Don’t Buy Into Them)

 “Yes, we had sex on the first date. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with that. I’m grown!” Sex on the first date is a classic example of what you have the adult right to do, but is rarely, if ever, the Grown, healthy, self-loving thing to do, especially if your goal is a loving, sustainable relationship of honor, esteem and respect. The societal stigma associated with first-date [...]

How To Watch TV One’s Fatal Attraction As If Your Life Depended On It

Anyone who follows the Grown Zone knows that true-crime reality TV is a major part of our media diet. This is because it so graphically illustrates the risks one takes when prematurely surrendering access to body, money, home and heart. Series such as Snapped (on the Oxygen network), Who The Bleep Did I Marry (Investigation Discovery) and Fatal Attraction (TV One) show how common it is for people to pay for poor [...]

3 Deadly Money Habits That Kill Relationships

That money is the single biggest common factor of many failed relationships, including most divorces, is a widely accepted belief, backed up by plenty of evidence, both empirical and anecdotal. What is less commonly discussed is that while money may be a dominant factor in unhealthy relationships, it is often not the cause, but a symptom and reflection of deeper rifts in the foundation of relationships. This is why, in [...]

Love and Money: Stop Giving Them To Strangers and Dependents, Part 2

Too many people pay dearly, both emotionally and financially because they insist on treating love as a form of currency, like the yen or Euro, with an exchange rate convertible to U.S. dollars. We share examples of this in Love and Money: Stop Giving Them To Strangers, Part 1. To graduate from exercising your adult right to engage in financial and romantic foolery, to making Grown decisions as relates to love [...]

Love and Money: Stop Giving Them to Strangers and Dependents, Part 1

Adults are messy enough when it comes to love, sex and relationships. But for real rachetness and foolery, add money to the mix. Too many people pay dearly both emotionally and financially because they insist on treating love as a form of currency, like the yen or Euro, with an exchange rate convertible to U.S. dollars. For examples of the relationship disasters that result, just look at television court shows [...]

8 Money Moves You Should NEVER Make for Love

The classic hit song by music icon Tina Turner asks, “What’s love got to do with it?” However, when it comes to avoiding unhealthy relationships and establishing standards for healthy ones of honor, esteem and respect, it may be more important to ask: What does my money have to do with it? A casual survey of any television court shows, such as Judge Judy and Judge Faith, will provide plenty [...]

6 Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly urge you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love, or to secure commitment from others. This “conventional [...]

“All Men Cheat!” (Actually, Not Really.)

“Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.” Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating). The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll [...]

11 Things Called Love That Are Anything But

A major principle of Grown, self-loving decision-making, in pursuit of healthy relationships of honor, esteem and respect, is not just having a clear idea of what love is, but also being clear on what it is not. The ability to recognize and reject what you don’t want is often more important than knowing and getting what you do want, because failure to do the former can eliminate the possibility of [...]