Avoiding Unhealthy Relationships

/Avoiding Unhealthy Relationships

3 Deadly Money Habits That Kill Relationships

That money is the single biggest common factor of many failed relationships, including most divorces, is a widely accepted belief, backed up by plenty of evidence, both empirical and anecdotal. What is less commonly discussed is that while money may be a dominant factor in unhealthy relationships, it is often not the cause, but a symptom and reflection of deeper rifts in the foundation of relationships. This is why, in [...]

Love and Money: Stop Giving Them To Strangers and Dependents, Part 2

Too many people pay dearly, both emotionally and financially because they insist on treating love as a form of currency, like the yen or Euro, with an exchange rate convertible to U.S. dollars. We share examples of this in Love and Money: Stop Giving Them To Strangers, Part 1. To graduate from exercising your adult right to engage in financial and romantic foolery, to making Grown decisions as relates to love [...]

Love and Money: Stop Giving Them to Strangers and Dependents, Part 1

Adults are messy enough when it comes to love, sex and relationships. But for real rachetness and foolery, add money to the mix. Too many people pay dearly both emotionally and financially because they insist on treating love as a form of currency, like the yen or Euro, with an exchange rate convertible to U.S. dollars. For examples of the relationship disasters that result, just look at television court shows [...]

8 Money Moves You Should NEVER Make for Love

The classic hit song by music icon Tina Turner asks, “What’s love got to do with it?” However, when it comes to avoiding unhealthy relationships and establishing standards for healthy ones of honor, esteem and respect, it may be more important to ask: What does my money have to do with it? A casual survey of any television court shows, such as Judge Judy and Judge Faith, will provide plenty [...]

6 Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly urge you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love, or to secure commitment from others. This “conventional [...]

“All Men Cheat!” (Actually, Not Really.)

“Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.” Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating). The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll [...]

11 Things Called Love That Are Anything But

A major principle of Grown, self-loving decision-making, in pursuit of healthy relationships of honor, esteem and respect, is not just having a clear idea of what love is, but also being clear on what it is not. The ability to recognize and reject what you don’t want is often more important than knowing and getting what you do want, because failure to do the former can eliminate the possibility of [...]

4 Things We Are Told To Give Up For Love—And Why You Absolutely Shouldn’t

A theme you will hear repeatedly in our Grown Zone posts, on Grown Zone Radio and in our book Loving In The Grown Zone, is the importance of making your heart, body, money and home the last things you grant access to in a romantic (or any) relationship, not the first. You’ll do a much better job of making healthy, self-loving decisions—and avoid or quickly recover from unhealthy choices—if you [...]

Why It Pays To Learn How To Love

You were born with both the need and the capacity to love, but you weren’t born knowing (and were likely never taught) how to create and grow healthy relationships. Your success, security and happiness depends on your willingness to invest time, attention, money and intention to learn. Here are three important reasons to boost your L.Q. (love quotient) by committing to relationship education: To protect your money, financial assets and earning power. [...]

Drama Queens Have Nothing On Drama Kings. Recognize And Avoid Them!

Do not buy into the myth that choosing drama is a female thing. Drama queens ain’t got nothing on drama kings. Like drama queens, drama kings inspire strong emotions, which can initially pass as intoxicating passion and sexual chemistry (what some describe as “catching feelings”), but ultimately spirals into an endless cycle of recklessness and disruption, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake. Both drama kings and drama queens use [...]