Do not buy into the myth that choosing drama is a female thing. Drama queens ain’t got nothing on drama kings.

Like drama queens, drama kings inspire strong emotions, which can initially pass as intoxicating passion and sexual chemistry (what some describe as “catching feelings”), but ultimately spirals into an endless cycle of recklessness and disruption, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.

Both drama kings and drama queens use seduction, bullying and blaming as weapons of manipulation, keeping you dizzy and disoriented on a roller coaster of constant confusion, guilt, fear, sexual tension and anxiety—all of which they’ll insist is caused by you, not them. And to the degree that you allow them a place in your life, they will be right.

If you are serious about living in the Grown Zone—which means you are committed to better choices, more self-love and healthier relationships—you must recognize and steer clear of drama kings and queens (actually drama addicts) at all costs. Do not try to cure them or fix them, or help them solve their problems. Just maintain as much distance as possible, and whatever you do, do not become intimate with them or allow them to become involved in your life beyond being just an acquaintance.

Since people typically associate drama with females, it is often missed or overlooked in males. It’s important to educate yourself so that you know a drama king when you see one. This is not an all-inclusive, exhaustive list, but here are some reliable signs that a man is a drama king:

Violence and its potential are his constant companions, whether he is victim or perpetrator—and, often, both. Not only is violence the drama king’s preferred means of dealing with conflict, but he seeks conflict to create opportunities for violence. The violence embraced by drama kings is often (but not necessarily) physical, as well as verbal, emotional, and financial. It is also often passive aggressive.

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