Generally speaking, women don’t know their worth.
We’ve been fed so many conflicting (and often unhealthy) ideas, from so many different sources, about how we are to be, and what roles we should play. In addition, often by what’s traditionally been our most trusted sources, we are instructed to expect less than we really deserve, and that there’s a reward awaiting us for doing so.
While many men are also burdened with self-love deficits and doubts about their worth, it is nearly always women who are expected to lower their standards to get or keep a relationship, and who are deemed flawed or inadequate if we are single for an extended period of time (and even abnormal or threatening if we are happily so, by choice).
You get what you believe you deserve, which means anything that limits your belief in your own worth will limit the potential of your life and the health of your relationship choices. I’m asking you to challenge your beliefs.
I wish you knew: You deserve unconditional love: a tenderness that would never strike you with words nor fists, thoughts nor actions.
I wish you knew: You deserve absolute acceptance that celebrates every piece of you, and intimacy that nurtures your heart and mind (without sex as a requirement).
I wish you knew: What others disparagingly call your “baggage” is experience, and both women and men have it. It’s not negative, and it doesn’t mean you’re defective or unworthy. It’s just life.
I wish you knew: It’s possible to have a relationship that always builds you up, and never tears you down.
And oh, how I wish you knew: Even in the face of a so-called “man shortage” all you need is one, but your focus on the shortage is keeping him at bay. (Everything is energy, Baby. You feed whatever you focus on, and what you focus on grows stronger and more real, especially your beliefs).
I wish you knew: Healthy love exists, and it is possible for you, but it can’t get to you until you know what you deserve.
When you know it, you’ll prove it to yourself and never settle for anything less.
I wish you knew.
Co-Founder, Grown Zone Relationship Education
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