During the Facebook discussion, I shared that I did not understand the either/or, limited-options mentality presented by the question. I pointed out the unfairness of a question limiting single women to only two choices, while the rich man’s options (unlike those of the regular guy, whose only apparent positive attribute is that he won’t cheat) were virtually unlimited. (When I asked why a single woman shouldn’t be free to entertain relationships with both men, I was again told that wasn’t an available option in the hypothetical scenario.)
I don’t see how it benefits women to infer that they can hope to have either a man of means or a man of fidelity, but, apparently, not a man of means committed to a lifestyle of fidelity. In fact, I believe it does a disservice to women to surrender to societal pressure for them to settle for less than what they want and to compromise themselves to have relationships with men who are rarely, if ever, required to do the same.
Unfortunately, this mindset of limited options (including the much lamented “man shortage”) and false choices has bamboozled too many people of both genders into feeling stuck, settling and/or suffering in single life. This undermines their capacity to be fully engaged and invested in creating the life they want in single life, and to settle for no less than the healthy, sustainable relationships of H.E.R. (honor, esteem and respect) we were all created for. Women in particular have been tricked into setting the bar of expectation and standards for what is acceptable from men so low that even snakes (rich as well as adult dependent ones) can slither over!
So I put the question to you: How about accepting only exactly what you want in a relationship that is good and healthy for you without compromise?
When you are convinced that such relationships don’t exist or are not possible for you, limited options and false choices are all that remain. To convince you otherwise, by working directly with you to change that self-defeating mindset of limited options, is exactly why Zara and I created Grown Zone Relationship Education.
To learn more, check out “Where Is The Love? How We Create Great Relationships That Can’t Last.”
ARE YOU A SUCCESSFUL, HIGH-ACHIEVING SINGLE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR “SINGLENESS”? CLICK HERE TO LEARN ABOUT SCHEDULING A 1-ON-1 HIGH-IMPACT COACHING CONVERSATION WITH ZARA OR ALFRED!