Chances are, you are a nice, decent person who wants what most people do: a healthy, safe and loving relationship, with someone you can trust, who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. However, if your finances remain a wreck regardless of your relationship status, your approach to love may be the biggest threat to both your financial security and emotional stability.
Your decisions, choices and habits, both with your finances and in your relationships, are the fruit of your emotions, which spring from the seed of your beliefs. You are likely to make horrible financial choices when you believe:
You are in love with love.
This belief is rooted in the romantic foolery of “anything for love,” justifying financial choices that would be unthinkable to you outside of the desire to get or keep a relationship. Genuine, healthy, Grown love never requires you to damage yourself (including financially). To believe otherwise is to be a volunteer victim.
You equate loving people with rescuing them.
You attract and are attracted to needy people who are all too willing to spend your money for you, with no regard for your financial health or well-being.
This belief will cause you to surrender your finances to the agendas of others as proof of your love. As a result, you will constantly undermine your financial health, while attracting financial predators and creating adult dependents all too happy to drain your resources.
You need others to believe you are a “caring” person.
This belief makes you easy pickings for romantic interests who want to guilt you out of your money. Being overly invested in being viewed by others as caring also makes it difficult for you to say “No” to financial requests.
More thieves get into our homes, hearts, bedrooms and bank accounts via open invitation than by breaking and entering. When you continue to make poor money choices even when you know better, the problem is no longer a lack of financial literacy, but a deficit of self-love and personal growth. Relationship education can help you to learn how to recognize the unhealthy beliefs that lead to horrible financial choices in love and relationships.
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