“I’ll settle down when I find the right woman.”

That’s BULLSHIT!

A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for “All you can eat” has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life!

Being a relationship partner’s No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you’re still competing, he or she is not yours.

STOP COMPETING!

A person has to be committed to fidelity on general principle; otherwise, there is nothing anybody can do or become that will change them (regardless of their gender or yours). Stop believing the lies that there’s somebody out there “hoing” around waiting for you to show up so they can change, or that you can love somebody enough to get them to suddenly love you more, to be committed to you, and to forsake all others for you.

RELATED: Is A Mindset of Limited Options Keeping Your From The Relationship Your Deserve?

People justify entering rotations all the time, but competing in itself is a desperate act, and desperation leads to more unloving acts against self, which creates bigger voids and self-love deficits, and more desperate acts in a futile effort to fill them. It’s among the most vicious of cycles.

You can have lots of worldly possessions and look pristine, all day every day, but if you enter a competition for love, your self worth will plummet. PERIOD.

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About the Author:

Zara Green (ZaraGreen.com) is co-founder, with Alfred A. Edmond Jr., of Grown Zone. She is an author, speaker and trainer specializing in personal growth, resiliency development and individuality advocacy. Certified as a Heal Your LifeTM workshop leader (based on the philosophy of Louise Hay), she is best known for helping others to understand individual temperaments as a key factor of healthy, productive life management, empowering them to always make their Next Decision BetterTM. Green is also known for her popular Grown IS SexyTM and PooNannie PrinciplesTM messages and teachings, focusing on healthy relationship choices founded on love of self, respect of others, and taking personal responsibility for securing both. For women in particular, Green has garnered a passionate and vocal following for her teachings on proactively making H.E.R.—Honor, Esteem and Respect—a non-negotiable prerequisite to securing happy and fulfilled lives.

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