“I’ll settle down when I find the right woman.”


A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for “All you can eat” has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life!

Being a relationship partner’s No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you’re still competing, he or she is not yours.


A person has to be committed to fidelity on general principle; otherwise, there is nothing anybody can do or become that will change them (regardless of their gender or yours). Stop believing the lies that there’s somebody out there “hoing” around waiting for you to show up so they can change, or that you can love somebody enough to get them to suddenly love you more, to be committed to you, and to forsake all others for you.

RELATED: Is A Mindset of Limited Options Keeping Your From The Relationship Your Deserve?

People justify entering rotations all the time, but competing in itself is a desperate act, and desperation leads to more unloving acts against self, which creates bigger voids and self-love deficits, and more desperate acts in a futile effort to fill them. It’s among the most vicious of cycles.

You can have lots of worldly possessions and look pristine, all day every day, but if you enter a competition for love, your self worth will plummet. PERIOD.

This is not an indicator that you’re unlucky in love. NO! In the Grown Zone, it simply means you’re trying to wing it at love, rather than doing as you have with everything else you’ve been successful at: studying, learning, applying and mastering successful principles for your business, passion or profession. That means learning how to love; learning what love is; getting to know all of you, and what a suitable mate for you looks like before he shows up. That way, you’ll recognize him when he does (as you get to know who he is, not at first sight), instead of trying to cast any ole’ body in the role of loving relationship partner.

Make no mistakeunderstanding your professional value does not protect your personal worth; you can’t make enough money, adorn yourself with enough name brands (self indulgence is not self-love) or fake enough happiness to fill that void. In fact, as these things increase the more unworthy you’ll feel. And you’ll feel it most when you’re quiet and alone; in the middle of the night.

So again, stop competing. Instead, become a student of lovingand of loving you, first, most and always.

One more thing: Even if you’re “chosen” (given a title, such as wife, girlfriend, “main chick”), it’ll mean you’re the first, and still one of many, if you’re not the only. You’ll also always be insecure as you are faced with defending your title and position from other contenders.

Regardless of your relationship status, if you must compete for love, it’s not love.


Stop chasing and losing. Start ATTRACTING and CHOOSING! Learn proven guidelines and principles GUARANTEED to make you happy and fulfilled REGARDLESS OF YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Use the power of self love to become an irresistible MAGNET for the lasting, drama-free, AUTHENTIC LOVE created specifically for you and ONLY you! Order your copy of Loving In The Grown Zone TODAY at LovingInTheGrownZone.com!