Whether you are a long-time citizen of the Grown Zone Nation or you are new to the Grown Zone, it helps to speak the language of Grown and healthy personal growth spoken here. Following are the definitions of terms commonly used in the Grown Zone, including on our weekly radio show, in our book Loving In The Grown Zone, on social media (including our private Facebook group) and at our webinars and Grown Zone Live events around the country.

adult and messy: Refers to thinking, actions and lifestyles resulting from choices that consistently deliver disadvantageous, destructive, costly and otherwise negative consequences for the person making the choices and those in relationships with them. Adult-and-messy choices/lifestyles are the antithesis of the Grown-and-healthy decision-making agenda we teach and champion in the Grown Zone.

attractors: Those characteristics that usually serve as the basis of initial attraction or desirability of potential relationship partners. These are the features that society (our parents, peers, popular culture, etc.) tells us to value when seeking suitable relationship partners, but that actually have little to no correlation to a person’s capacity to establish, nurture and sustain healthy relationships. Commonly recognized attractors include: basic decency (niceness), physical attractiveness, sexiness, financial means/earning potential, social status/family background, education and religious upbringing/lifestyle.

boo’d up/booed up: Engaged in a mutually exclusive romantic or dating relationship, usually outside the institution of marriage. Derived from boo, initially popularized in urban culture as a term of endearment, as in “That’s my boo [i.e. sweetheart, honey, baby].”

foolery: See adult and messy.

fuquitable (pronounced foo-QUIT-a-bul): Vulnerable to deception and manipulation by others, due to compromised self-esteem and lack of self-love. Also: a condition resulting from a person’s inability or unwillingness to set standards and enforce boundaries for his or her healthy treatment.

Grown: Refers to thinking, actions and lifestyles resulting from decisions that consistently deliver advantageous, healthy, self-loving and otherwise positive outcomes for the decision maker and those in relationship with them.

grown and sexy: According to UrbanDictionary.com, “This is a term used to describe people who have reached a point in their lives where playing games and immaturity is behind them and they have grown up and are ready to take on bigger and better things.” In the Grown Zone, we make the distinction that only Grown IS Sexy, because if it is not Grown (healthy), it is by definition not sexy. Just as everything sexual is not sexy, too many of the choices people make in the name of being “Grown and Sexy” (particularly as relates to sexual and relationship choices) are actually adult and messy (see definition above).

healthy: In the Grown Zone, this defines anything or anyone that supports, encourages, nurtures and increases your capacity for learning, self-love and personal growth. It also defines those things that bring honor, esteem and respect to relationships and relationship partners (see H.E.R.).

H.E.R.: Honor, esteem and respect. This is the non-negotiable standard for self-love, better decisions and healthier relationships in the Grown Zone.

penis-led: Defines men who are unwilling or unable to hold themselves accountable for managing and controlling their sexual urges.

poonannie: The Grown Zone adaptation of the term punany or punani, originally used in India and later popularized in Jamaican/Caribbean culture to describe the female sex organ. Our spelling of the term was passed down to Zara by her father, Sam Green Sr., and expands the definition to all aspects of feminine sexuality.

Poonannie Principles: Rules and guidelines established and taught by Zara Green, holding women ultimately accountable for governing access to their bodies and powers of procreation, with H.E.R. as an uncompromising standard.

rachet: Originally popularized in urban culture and used to define people, conduct and situations that are trashy, lacking in class and/or social appropriateness, rude or crass.

rachet TV: Used to define a particular genre of television programming, such as certain reality show franchises and talk shows, which offer people participating in rachet conduct, conflicts and situations as entertainment.

Sam Greenisms: The teachings and philosophies of Sam Green Sr., a self-educated entrepreneur and barbershop owner and the father of Zara Green, delivered in raw, straightforward language. Veterans of the Grown Zone are familiar with the unadulterated wisdom of Sam Green, which Zara has culled from raw, uncensored discussions between her father and his customers in the barber shop, as well as from their heart-to-heart father-daughter talks aimed at preparing her for life, including understanding the motives, predispositions and thinking of men.

sustainers: Those characteristics with a high correlation to a person’s capacity to establish, build and sustain healthy relationships, but are often of secondary considerations (after attractors) when considering potential relationship partners. Most of us have been conditioned to automatically (usually incorrectly) associate sustainer characteristics with people who have one or more of the socially desirable attractor characteristics. Sustainer characteristics include the capacities for respect/admiration (appreciation), compassion, forgiveness, fidelity/loyalty (trustworthiness), acceptance/tolerance and physical safety/emotional security.

unhealthy: In the Grown Zone, this is anything or anyone that blocks, undermines, restricts or diminishes your capacity for learning, self-love and personal growth. It also defines those things that deprive relationships and relationship partners of honor, esteem and respect (see H.E.R.).