attractors

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Love Is Not An Addiction: If It’s Real, It’s Worth Waiting For

Do you know an addict—someone hooked on alcohol, cocaine, meth, heroin? If you’ve known anybody addicted to any of these mind altering drugs then you know that the longer they’re addicted the more bold and reckless they become about getting it. From the first hit, all they know is that nothing has ever made them feel like that before and they look forward to the next hit. After a few [...]

Why Love At First Sight Is Romantic Foolery

One of the most dangerous distractions in the quest for healthy, romantic relationships of honor, esteem and respect is the myth of “love at first sight.” A desert oasis and so-called love at first sight have at least two things in common: Both attract people who are desperate and dying of thirst (for water and love, respectively), and both nearly always turn out to be illusions. Also, in both cases, [...]

Do You Know What To Look For In Your Ideal Mate? Try This Simple Test

Have you had a difficult time finding someone with whom you can establish a great relationship that lasts beyond just a few months, before one or both of you have chosen to either break up or settle for being less than happy (rather than be alone)? If so, the challenge likely starts with why you chose to be together in the first place. Most of us were either taught to [...]

Don’t Be A Casualty Of Casual Sex: 3 Reasons To Be More Careful

If you’ve ever been a victim of your own physical desires, i.e. you’ve slept with someone who looked good (or good enough), with no relationship beyond the encounter and no real knowledge of anything about him or her, you are a casualty of casual sex. As adults we are free to share our bodies with whomever we want. However, as Grown people, we need to be more careful about who [...]

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]

3 Love Lessons We Learned The Hard Way (That You Don’t Have To)

If identifying and securing a loving, romantic relationship is a priority for you, you must reject the commonly accepted, yet misguided notions many of us have been taught about finding love. It is critical that you identify and challenge these ideas and beliefs—whether planted by your parents, peers, popular culture, religious upbringing or other sources—and uproot them. You have two options: learn through experience, i.e. trial and error, or via education, drawing [...]

The Real Reason It’s So Hard to Find Love. (It’s Not What You Think.)

Our need for love is present from our time in the womb; our capacity for healthy growth and development (physical, mental and emotional) depends on it. We are born with both a predisposition to give and a longing to receive love, with our capacity to effectively do either relying on the other being fulfilled. So if we all have the capacity to love, and we all need love, why is [...]

Speaking Grown Zone: A Glossary of Terms

Whether you are a long-time citizen of the Grown Zone Nation or you are new to the Grown Zone, it helps to speak the language of Grown and healthy personal growth spoken here. Following are the definitions of terms commonly used in the Grown Zone, including on our weekly radio show, in our book Loving In The Grown Zone, on social media (including our private Facebook group) and at our [...]

Sex Gets Too Much Credit As A Basis For Loving Relationships

Everybody, not only wants love, but needs it. There are times throughout life when you may be more focused on school, career, parenting or your own personal growth – all great reasons to not be boo’d up –  but there will come a time when you’ll want a consistent romantic relationship; somebody to share your life with. But too often, women who desire somebody to love them all life long [...]

Wedding Season: What We’ve Learned From 4 Failed Marriages

As widely recognized and trusted sources of advice on healthy relationships, and the authors of Loving In The Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem, and Respect (Balboa Press), people are often surprised to find that we are not married, although we are committed to each other as life partners. (Radio Host Tom Joyner and Comedian J. Anthony [...]