dating

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7 More Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly remind you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love or to secure love from others. This “conventional [...]

Learn The Early Signs of Danger When Meeting Someone New

A big part of our work in the Grown Zone is to help you to recognize and protect yourself from potentially dangerous relationships before they happen, as a better alternative to suffering through and recovering from them after the fact, and taking real risks and losses along the way. Check out this post from StreetSmartWomen.com, a company that markets discreet, wearable safety devices for women, on the ways potentially dangerous people [...]

4 Reasons We Are Convinced That We’re Unlovable

One of the key factors in your inability to find and maintain healthy relationships are the haunting beliefs, even if unspoken, that you are unworthy or undeserving of love. Once you adopt these beliefs (even if unconsciously), you sabotage your ability to prepare for, recognize, attract and engage in healthy relationships of honor, esteem and respect. It's important to understand how we often use facts as justification for adopting false and self-sabotaging beliefs. [...]

6 Acts of Financial Abuse That Are Red Flags For Intimate Partner Violence

At the core of the mission of Grown Zone Relationship Education is not only helping you to recognize and establish healthy, loving relationships, but to recognize and avoid dangerous, unhealthy ones. Helping people to avoid relationships that lead to domestic abuse and intimate partner violence, in particular, is a key priority of the Grown Zone. Most people think of domestic or intimate partner violence in physical terms. However, there are other [...]

How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex? Wrong Question.

How long should you wait before having sex with someone? This is one of the most commonly asked and hotly debated questions when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. Most people are taught to frame the decision of when to become sexually intimate as a matter of time, whether months, weeks, days or even hours. Just about everyone is familiar with the “90-Day Rule” popularized by the [...]

In The Quest for Love, Choose Good For You Over Good To You

Healthy, loving relationships are about how well you are treated, not just how you are made to feel.—Alfred Edmond Jr. This is one of the guiding principles of our book, Loving In The Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem and Respect (Balboa Press). Authentic love is about the quality of treatment between relationship partners. However, too often, [...]

3 Reasons To Have Sex On The First Date (And Why Grown People Don’t Buy Into Them)

 “Yes, we had sex on the first date. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with that. I’m grown!” Sex on the first date is a classic example of what you have the adult right to do, but is rarely, if ever, the Grown, healthy, self-loving thing to do, especially if your goal is a loving, sustainable relationship of honor, esteem and respect. The societal stigma associated with first-date [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: Why You’re Not Married… Yet

In the Grown Zone, we constantly stress that more time and energy should be invested in recognizing and building healthy relationships, after laying a solid foundation of self-love, instead of surrendering to our societal obsession with weddings. Unfortunately, most people, and women in particular, are taught to focus on wedding planning ahead of marriage planning, with the latter deferred until sometime after the honeymoon, if it happens at all. Marriage [...]

Grown Zone Radio: Half A Man Is Not Enough

Let's get this straight: women do need men, just as men need women, but the notion that a "half a man" is better than no man is foolery! RELATED POST: Want Better From A Man? Then Change Your Qualifiers Stop telling yourself that you don't need a man and then settlling for half a man. Men, stop bragging that you're "half man, half amazing," when only a whole man will [...]