ending relationships

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Get Better At Severing Ties: Amicable Breakups

I wish people understood the power in severing ties when they’re no longer aligned with the people in their lives.  People-possession is dangerous. There are a gazillion people on the planet and there’s nobody—not a single person—who you can’t happily live without. RELATED: Your Relationship Is Over. Now What? Having ended many relationships (romantic, business, with friends, and yes, even with relatives) upon realizing that continuing as we were was not [...]

3 Acts Of Holiday Season Foolery You Need To Avoid

Most adult-and-messy choices are a result of making decisions for a reason or a season that result in unintended lifetime consequences. This truth is even more evident during the holiday season, when we make exceptions for unhealthy relationship choices and poor treatment that we’d never tolerate during the rest of the year. The result: unhealthy, holiday foolery, the kind you need to fortify yourself against in order to enjoy the [...]

Your Relationship Is Over. Now What?

Your relationship is over. Now what? Single life is about more than just killing time between relationships and searching for someone new to love you. It's about taking the following steps to learn, grow and love yourself: Reflect.  You must intentionally answer the question, “What just happened?” with a focus not on blaming or playing victim, but on exploring your choices, the emotions that drove them and your underlying beliefs. How do they compare to [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 3

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. In the second video in this [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 2

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. In the second video in this [...]

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 1

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. We start with: Part 1: People [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 3

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 3 of this three-part series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice: Part 3: The definition of relationship success [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The Relationship Dismount

Among the key concepts of our book Loving In The Grown Zone are that break-ups are inevitable for most relationships and that they should be approached as acts of love. Furthermore, the time after a break-up and between relationships are valuable opportunities for personal growth and to strengthen our foundation of self love. Indeed, the likelihood of a person becoming equipped to establish healthy, loving relationships of honor, esteem and [...]