finding love

/Tag:finding love

Looking For Healthy Love? Stop Competing To Be Chosen

"I'll settle down when I find the right woman." That's BULLSHIT! A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for "All you can eat" has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life! Being a relationship partner's No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you're still competing, he [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The 5 Phases of Dating

Dating has only one purpose if your goal is to one day establish a healthy, sustainable, loving relationship of H.E.R. (Honor, Esteem and Respect): That is to learn the truth of who people are, in order to determine who is safe for intimate access to your body, money, heart and home; who is not; and most importantly, to recognize and avoid the latter before they can do damage to you [...]

7 More Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly remind you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love or to secure love from others. This “conventional [...]

4 Reasons We Are Convinced That We’re Unlovable

One of the key factors in your inability to find and maintain healthy relationships are the haunting beliefs, even if unspoken, that you are unworthy or undeserving of love. Once you adopt these beliefs (even if unconsciously), you sabotage your ability to prepare for, recognize, attract and engage in healthy relationships of honor, esteem and respect. It's important to understand how we often use facts as justification for adopting false and self-sabotaging beliefs. [...]

Do You Know What To Look For In Your Ideal Mate? Try This Simple Test

Have you had a difficult time finding someone with whom you can establish a great relationship that lasts beyond just a few months, before one or both of you have chosen to either break up or settle for being less than happy (rather than be alone)? If so, the challenge likely starts with why you chose to be together in the first place. Most of us were either taught to [...]

How To Find And Keep The Greatest Love Of Your Life

You can’t have a faithful and fulfilling relationship with excellence while cheating with mediocrity. This is true in all areas of endeavor, from business to music and sports; it also applies to love and relationships. You don’t always get what’s healthy for you in love and relationships; but you always get what you accept. Unfortunately, too many of us never experience Grown, loving relationships of H.E.R.—Honor, Esteem and Respect—because we have [...]

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 3

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 3 of this three-part series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice: Part 3: The definition of relationship success [...]

3 Things Keeping You From The Healthy Love You Say You Want

You say you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So why do your only options seem to be settling for less or being alone? If you are like most people, when asked about their dream relationship, you talk about wanting love, trust, respect, great sex, joyful intimacy and emotional safety. However, despite this near universal agreement on relationship desires and goals, the odds are that you are among [...]

Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love, Part 2

In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it's often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 2 of this series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice: Part 2: To find true love you need [...]