Grown decisions

/Tag:Grown decisions

Why Church-Based Premarital Counseling Does Not Prevent Divorce

The fact that you both love God does not automatically qualify you to love each other.—Grown Zone Relationship Education Co-Creator Alfred A. Edmond Jr. In the Grown Zone, we often challenge conventional wisdom, including overvalued and ineffective beliefs about how to create and sustain healthy relationships. One of these beliefs is the idea that church-based premarital counseling alone can provide engaged couples with enough preparation to establish a healthy, sustainable marriage. RELATED: [...]

Esteemable Goals: Making New Year’s Resolutions That Matter to You

Each New Year, people commit (or recommit) to wishes, dreams and desires for their lives, also known as resolutions. Unfortunately, breaking resolutions is as much a tradition as making them. However, making and breaking promises, especially to yourself, is not Grown, because it is unhealthy; it diminishes your love and esteem for self. Your capacity to make and keep healthy commitments to yourself is a major sign of being truly [...]

Get Better At Severing Ties: Amicable Breakups

I wish people understood the power in severing ties when they’re no longer aligned with the people in their lives.  People-possession is dangerous. There are a gazillion people on the planet and there’s nobody—not a single person—who you can’t happily live without. RELATED: Your Relationship Is Over. Now What? Having ended many relationships (romantic, business, with friends, and yes, even with relatives) upon realizing that continuing as we were was not [...]

Intention: The Key To Success In Life, Love And Relationships

How do you get what you want in life, love and relationships? Well, here’s what does not work: merely wishing for, wanting, needing and/or deserving it. You can’t succeed without intention. When people share access to the same information, resources, opportunities and experiences, yet do not get the same results, intention is the difference. Intention has nothing to do with what you wish for, hope for or what you say is important to you. [...]

3 Acts Of Holiday Season Foolery You Need To Avoid

Most adult-and-messy choices are a result of making decisions for a reason or a season that result in unintended lifetime consequences. This truth is even more evident during the holiday season, when we make exceptions for unhealthy relationship choices and poor treatment that we’d never tolerate during the rest of the year. The result: unhealthy, holiday foolery, the kind you need to fortify yourself against in order to enjoy the [...]

Grown Advice for Young Aspiring Superstar Athletes

They may show signs of exceptional talent before they hit their teens. By eighth grade, they have a target on their back. By high school, they are walking, talking lottery tickets, with everyone from their parents, coaches, recruiters, agents, the boys in their crew, and of course women of all ages and backgrounds, looking to cash in, or at least to get a cut. Of course, we’re talking about the [...]

Fidelity Is A Decision Not Based On Persuasion

A real man gives up one-night stands for a woman he can’t stand to spend one night without. This sentiment is regularly shared via social media, and every time I see something like it I want to shake the women behind the posts. Women really need to think! Put your egos aside (yes, women are ego-driven, too) and THINK because women who believe this end up jockeying for men and [...]

Your Relationship Is Over. Now What?

Your relationship is over. Now what? Single life is about more than just killing time between relationships and searching for someone new to love you. It's about taking the following steps to learn, grow and love yourself: Reflect.  You must intentionally answer the question, “What just happened?” with a focus not on blaming or playing victim, but on exploring your choices, the emotions that drove them and your underlying beliefs. How do they compare to [...]

Don’t Be A Casualty Of Casual Sex: 3 Reasons To Be More Careful

If you’ve ever been a victim of your own physical desires, i.e. you’ve slept with someone who looked good (or good enough), with no relationship beyond the encounter and no real knowledge of anything about him or her, you are a casualty of casual sex. As adults we are free to share our bodies with whomever we want. However, as Grown people, we need to be more careful about who [...]

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]