Grown decisions

/Tag:Grown decisions

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex? Wrong Question.

How long should you wait before having sex with someone? This is one of the most commonly asked and hotly debated questions when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. Most people are taught to frame the decision of when to become sexually intimate as a matter of time, whether months, weeks, days or even hours. Just about everyone is familiar with the “90-Day Rule” popularized by the [...]

3 Reasons To Have Sex On The First Date (And Why Grown People Don’t Buy Into Them)

 “Yes, we had sex on the first date. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with that. I’m grown!” Sex on the first date is a classic example of what you have the adult right to do, but is rarely, if ever, the Grown, healthy, self-loving thing to do, especially if your goal is a loving, sustainable relationship of honor, esteem and respect. The societal stigma associated with first-date [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The Relationship Dismount

Among the key concepts of our book Loving In The Grown Zone are that break-ups are inevitable for most relationships and that they should be approached as acts of love. Furthermore, the time after a break-up and between relationships are valuable opportunities for personal growth and to strengthen our foundation of self love. Indeed, the likelihood of a person becoming equipped to establish healthy, loving relationships of honor, esteem and [...]

8 Money Moves You Should NEVER Make for Love

The classic hit song by music icon Tina Turner asks, “What’s love got to do with it?” However, when it comes to avoiding unhealthy relationships and establishing standards for healthy ones of honor, esteem and respect, it may be more important to ask: What does my money have to do with it? A casual survey of any television court shows, such as Judge Judy and Judge Faith, will provide plenty [...]

6 Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly urge you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love, or to secure commitment from others. This “conventional [...]

“All Men Cheat!” (Actually, Not Really.)

“Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.” Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating). The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll [...]

3 Reasons Why It’s Never Too Soon To Graduate to Grown

Each year, hundreds of thousands of young people accept diplomas and degrees, taking major steps into new adulthood. If you happen to be one of them: Congratulations! However, whether you’ve just finished high school, earned an undergraduate degree, completed graduate or professional school or left your days of formal education to distant memory, one thing is true: It is never too early to move beyond mere adulthood and graduate to [...]

Sex Gets Too Much Credit As A Basis For Loving Relationships

Everybody, not only wants love, but needs it. There are times throughout life when you may be more focused on school, career, parenting or your own personal growth – all great reasons to not be boo’d up –  but there will come a time when you’ll want a consistent romantic relationship; somebody to share your life with. But too often, women who desire somebody to love them all life long [...]

Why You’re Not Winning In Business, Life and Love

You’ve got the right education, knowledge, skills and credentials—so why aren’t you winning? You’ve got the right degrees, from the right schools. You’ve got a great resume and a glowing LinkedIN profile. You’re in the right networks, with an impressive group of influential friends, colleagues, role models and mentors. You have the right look and wardrobe, a tight body, and talk the right talk. You’ve read all the right books, and attended the [...]