marriage

/Tag:marriage

The High Cost Of Marrying Recklessly

January is widely referred to as “Divorce Month” in legal circles. (That’s right: smack in the middle of the “Engagement Season” that runs from Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day!) However, the odds of a marriage succeeding are determined long before divorce becomes a consideration, and indeed, even before marriage is even proposed in a relationship. That's why investing in marriage readiness via relationship education now can prevent the financial and emotional devastation [...]

Why Church-Based Premarital Counseling Does Not Prevent Divorce

The fact that you both love God does not automatically qualify you to love each other.—Grown Zone Relationship Education Co-Creator Alfred A. Edmond Jr. In the Grown Zone, we often challenge conventional wisdom, including overvalued and ineffective beliefs about how to create and sustain healthy relationships. One of these beliefs is the idea that church-based premarital counseling alone can provide engaged couples with enough preparation to establish a healthy, sustainable marriage. RELATED: [...]

My Story: The High Price of Foregoing Relationship Education

Would you invest, say, $10,000 on a program of relationship education to avoid more than $100,000 in expenses and other costs resulting from poor relationship choices? Today, that’s a no-brainer for me: Absolutely, I would. But that was not always the case. For most of my adult life, like most people, I was firmly committed to the follow-your-heart, learn-by-experience, anything-for-love approach to relationships. By my 40th birthday, the results of [...]

Grown Love And Money: Before You Marry, Do The Math

Marriage is a financial and legal contract, not just a spiritual, romantic and/or emotional commitment. This is a foundational theme of living and loving in the Grown Zone, but also a fact that is too often glossed over in our society’s all but obsessive fascination with love, weddings and babies—whether we are actually prepared for them or not. As we often point out in the Grown Zone, marriage, in particular, [...]

Preparing For Love Means Facing The Truth About Your Grandparents’ Marriage

You wanna know how your grandparents “worked through” their problems and didn’t divorce? ‘Cause ya grandmamma most likely didn’t have her own assets or income and depended on your grandfather to support her and the family. She had no choice but to work it out. Also, the stigma a divorced woman would face? Pfffffft. Trust me, a lot of y’all’s grandfathers are/were awful people and your grandmother would’ve left him [...]

3 Romantic Notions You Must Reject For Your Own Good

An important step in making healthy decisions in the pursuit of loving, romantic relationships of honor, esteem and respect, is rejecting the romantic—and misguided—notions that many of us have been taught about what it takes to find love. It is critical that you identify and challenge these ideas and beliefs—whether planted by your parents, peers, popular culture, religious upbringing or other sources—and uproot them, especially when they don’t prove to [...]

3 Love Lessons We Learned The Hard Way (That You Don’t Have To)

If identifying and securing a loving, romantic relationship is a priority for you, you must reject the commonly accepted, yet misguided notions many of us have been taught about finding love. It is critical that you identify and challenge these ideas and beliefs—whether planted by your parents, peers, popular culture, religious upbringing or other sources—and uproot them. You have two options: learn through experience, i.e. trial and error, or via education, drawing [...]

The Real Reason It’s So Hard to Find Love. (It’s Not What You Think.)

Our need for love is present from our time in the womb; our capacity for healthy growth and development (physical, mental and emotional) depends on it. We are born with both a predisposition to give and a longing to receive love, with our capacity to effectively do either relying on the other being fulfilled. So if we all have the capacity to love, and we all need love, why is [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: Why You’re Not Married… Yet

In the Grown Zone, we constantly stress that more time and energy should be invested in recognizing and building healthy relationships, after laying a solid foundation of self-love, instead of surrendering to our societal obsession with weddings. Unfortunately, most people, and women in particular, are taught to focus on wedding planning ahead of marriage planning, with the latter deferred until sometime after the honeymoon, if it happens at all. Marriage [...]

6 Things To Know Before You Open Your Legs, Checkbook, Heart or Home

In the Grown Zone, we constantly urge you to make access to your body (sex and powers of procreation), money (financial stability), home (personal safety) and heart (emotional security), the last things you give up to get a relationship or keep one going. Unfortunately, we are taught the opposite—to surrender one, more or all of these things to either prove our love, or to secure commitment from others. This “conventional [...]