personal growth

/Tag:personal growth

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

4 Ways To Say “No” To Requests To Cosign

If you’ve read my articles, heard me on the radio or seen me on television as an expert on personal finance and entrepreneurship, you’ve heard me say over and over again that co-signing on a credit card, auto loan, or any other kind of debt is one of the worst money decisions you can make. Often, though, it’s not the request that’s hard to say no to, but the person [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 1

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. We start with: Part 1: People [...]

The Key To Success Is Not Loving What You Do, But Loving Who You Are

Conventional motivational wisdom preaches the importance of finding your passion, discovering and doing the things you love to do (even feel born to do) as the key to success and happiness. RELATED: 15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don’t I disagree. Success and happiness are not about discovering, learning and loving what you do. They’re about discovering, learning and loving who you are. (These are NOT the same [...]

3 Things Keeping You From The Healthy Love You Say You Want

You say you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So why do your only options seem to be settling for less or being alone? If you are like most people, when asked about their dream relationship, you talk about wanting love, trust, respect, great sex, joyful intimacy and emotional safety. However, despite this near universal agreement on relationship desires and goals, the odds are that you are among [...]

Why The Love You Seek From Others Can’t Substitute For Self-Love

The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself. You will never gain unconditional love and acceptance from others if you won’t give it to yourself. The above statements are one of the foundational principles of Grown Zone Relationship Education, one of the concepts we've identified as among the "15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don't." Regardless of your relationship [...]

Possession Consciousness Is Dangerous With Things And People

Are you setting yourself up for unnecessary heartbreak? Or allowing others to position you for unnecessary drama? Possession consciousness starts out quite innocently… “My Clothes – My Shoes – My Jewelry – My House  – My Car” But then there’s this level of possessiveness… “My Father – My Mother My Son – My Daughter My Man – My Woman” UH-OH! People Possession! (More on that a little later…) For the [...]

Grown Zone Book Shelf: The Relationship Dismount

Among the key concepts of our book Loving In The Grown Zone are that break-ups are inevitable for most relationships and that they should be approached as acts of love. Furthermore, the time after a break-up and between relationships are valuable opportunities for personal growth and to strengthen our foundation of self love. Indeed, the likelihood of a person becoming equipped to establish healthy, loving relationships of honor, esteem and [...]

“All Men Cheat!” (Actually, Not Really.)

“Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.” Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating). The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll [...]

15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don’t

We’re "Do-Better Fanatics," committed to the purpose of relationship education. Our mission here in the Grown Zone is to help you grow from adult choices to Grown Decisions. When you decide that you want to make better choices, engage in more self-love, and have healthy relationships, you are ready to enter the Grown Zone. In the Grown Zone, we recognize and honor the truth that not everything that we have [...]