protect yourself

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Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 3

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. In the second video in this [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 2

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. In the second video in this [...]

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex? Wrong Question.

How long should you wait before having sex with someone? This is one of the most commonly asked and hotly debated questions when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. Most people are taught to frame the decision of when to become sexually intimate as a matter of time, whether months, weeks, days or even hours. Just about everyone is familiar with the “90-Day Rule” popularized by the [...]

4 Ways To Say “No” To Requests To Cosign

If you’ve read my articles, heard me on the radio or seen me on television as an expert on personal finance and entrepreneurship, you’ve heard me say over and over again that co-signing on a credit card, auto loan, or any other kind of debt is one of the worst money decisions you can make. Often, though, it’s not the request that’s hard to say no to, but the person [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 1

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. We start with: Part 1: People [...]

7 Signs That Your New Love Will Cheat On You

Infidelity is common in relationships. However, just because something is common does not mean it is natural, inevitable or unavoidable. This truth is a fundamental reason why we wrote our book, Loving In The Grown Zone: to challenge the misguided belief that risking and enduring mistreatment and disrespect is just the price you have to pay for a chance at love. In the case of infidelity, you can do far [...]

Stop Being Fooled By ‘I Love You’

Who are the easiest people to lie to? Those who truly, even desperately, want to believe the liar—especially if they’re desirous of, or emotionally invested, in a relationship with that person. It’s why many parents believe their children when they say that they’re doing fine in school, never experiment with drugs and are not sexually active, even when confronted with evidence (condoms and rolling papers, but no homework or studying) [...]

6 Signs Your Sweetheart Is Using Love to Get Control of Your Money

First date in July. Madly in love by August. Engaged by October. Married the following May. Is it true love? Or one person’s misguided, desperate, obsessive or even criminal attempt to use “love” to gain access to and control of another person’s financial resources? All you have to do is watch true-crime stories dramatized on TV shows such as Fatal Attraction, Fatal Vows and Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? to [...]

3 Reasons To Have Sex On The First Date (And Why Grown People Don’t Buy Into Them)

 “Yes, we had sex on the first date. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with that. I’m grown!” Sex on the first date is a classic example of what you have the adult right to do, but is rarely, if ever, the Grown, healthy, self-loving thing to do, especially if your goal is a loving, sustainable relationship of honor, esteem and respect. The societal stigma associated with first-date [...]