self love

/Tag:self love

Don’t Be Misled By The Soulmate Myth

One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]

Tolerating Mistreatment Is NOT How Forgiveness Works

You’ve seen the memes; forgiveness isn’t easy, but it frees the forgiver to live better.  This is very much true. However, there are some who think that this act of self love makes them strong enough to walk right back into an unhealthy (i.e., not Grown) situation with someone they’ve forgiven, but who is still treating them badly. Forgiving someone is a Grown decision. However, allowing another person to treat [...]

How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex? Wrong Question.

How long should you wait before having sex with someone? This is one of the most commonly asked and hotly debated questions when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. Most people are taught to frame the decision of when to become sexually intimate as a matter of time, whether months, weeks, days or even hours. Just about everyone is familiar with the “90-Day Rule” popularized by the [...]

4 Ways To Say “No” To Requests To Cosign

If you’ve read my articles, heard me on the radio or seen me on television as an expert on personal finance and entrepreneurship, you’ve heard me say over and over again that co-signing on a credit card, auto loan, or any other kind of debt is one of the worst money decisions you can make. Often, though, it’s not the request that’s hard to say no to, but the person [...]

Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships, Part 1

You’re a nice, decent person. You are loving, and want to be loved by others. So why are you always being treated like crap—especially in romantic relationships? Our latest offering in the Grown Zone Video series, "Why You Get Treated Like Crap In Relationships," focuses on sabotaging beliefs that cause you to attract, choose and tolerate mistreatment—even though you say it’s the last thing you want. We start with: Part 1: People [...]

7 Signs That Your New Love Will Cheat On You

Infidelity is common in relationships. However, just because something is common does not mean it is natural, inevitable or unavoidable. This truth is a fundamental reason why we wrote our book, Loving In The Grown Zone: to challenge the misguided belief that risking and enduring mistreatment and disrespect is just the price you have to pay for a chance at love. In the case of infidelity, you can do far [...]

Stop Being Fooled By ‘I Love You’

Who are the easiest people to lie to? Those who truly, even desperately, want to believe the liar—especially if they’re desirous of, or emotionally invested, in a relationship with that person. It’s why many parents believe their children when they say that they’re doing fine in school, never experiment with drugs and are not sexually active, even when confronted with evidence (condoms and rolling papers, but no homework or studying) [...]

The Key To Success Is Not Loving What You Do, But Loving Who You Are

Conventional motivational wisdom preaches the importance of finding your passion, discovering and doing the things you love to do (even feel born to do) as the key to success and happiness. RELATED: 15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don’t I disagree. Success and happiness are not about discovering, learning and loving what you do. They’re about discovering, learning and loving who you are. (These are NOT the same [...]

3 Things Keeping You From The Healthy Love You Say You Want

You say you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So why do your only options seem to be settling for less or being alone? If you are like most people, when asked about their dream relationship, you talk about wanting love, trust, respect, great sex, joyful intimacy and emotional safety. However, despite this near universal agreement on relationship desires and goals, the odds are that you are among [...]

Why The Love You Seek From Others Can’t Substitute For Self-Love

The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself. You will never gain unconditional love and acceptance from others if you won’t give it to yourself. The above statements are one of the foundational principles of Grown Zone Relationship Education, one of the concepts we've identified as among the "15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don't." Regardless of your relationship [...]