Your former self needs three things: tenderness (compassion), forgiveness and acceptance. Your current/future stability depends on it. It’s necessary to have compassion for the things you’ve experienced that caused you pain and choices you’ve made that you’re not proud of; it’s part of your journey and purposeful!
Fidelity (like honor, esteem and respect) is not a promise you save for “The One” but a commitment you make to yourself. Fidelity is a core value, not a conditional nicety.
Tolerating mistreatment is accepting it. Accepting it reinforces it. Never tolerate poor treatment in the name of “love.”
The foundation of lasting love is not built on passion for laying together, but on devotion to standing together. Good sex can be the fruit of healthy love, but it cannot be the foundation of it.
Healthy relationships are so much more about knowing, accepting and loving self than they are about getting to know, accept and love another. It is your job to be the expert on the healthy care and treatment of you, and establishing and enforcing standards and boundaries for your treatment accordingly.
The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself. You will never gain unconditional love and acceptance from others if you won’t give it to yourself.
Love is not words, nor feelings, nor things. Love is a pattern of actions. Words, feelings and things can’t justify unloving acts. Love is not what you are told, or how you are made to feel; it’s how well you are treated.
Just say no to unloving choices, situations, treatment and people (including yourself), without exceptions. Not “No, if” or “No, but” or “No, unless.” Just “No.” “No” is a complete sentence. Grown people embrace responsibility for putting the period on it.
What you have, know and believe is not all there is. Learn (more). Apply (do more). Grow. Repeat. For as long as you can breathe and learn, better is always possible.
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