Grown people accept total responsibility for protecting their heart (trust/emotional safety), body (sexual health/powers of procreation), money (financial resources/stability) and home (peace of mind/physical security). That’s because these are the four primary ways we bond to other people. Think about it: Once you are bonded by finances, cohabitation, procreation and emotional attachment, you are, in effect, married—but with none of the benefits and legal protections of marriage. Far too many people are “marrying” strangers, and the break-ups are even messier than most divorces.) Access to these should never be entrusted to anybody who hasn’t shown and proven over time (not just promised in moments of passion or romance), that they are ready, willing and able to protect these things as if they were their own (which means they must be committed to their own self-love).
Here’s one more important reason to withhold access to your body, money, heart and home—if the relationship proves unhealthy or unsustainable (as the vast majority of them do), it can end without any lasting damage or messiness, beyond perhaps the hurt feelings or sense of loss common to break-ups. No children. No sexually transmitted diseases. No depleted bank accounts or ruined credit. No having to get someone out—or getting kicked out—of your apartment. No possibility of emotional abuse or betrayal. All because you were Grown enough not to put the things most precious to you prematurely at risk. Each of you can take the lessons you were meant to learn from the relationship (which are what give every relationship value and meaning), and keep it moving, that much closer to the healthy, resilient loving relationships we all deserve. In the Grown Zone, we call that success without the mess.
The reason people surrender access to their bodies, home, money and heart so easily to others is because society tells us we should (anything for “love”), and because often they’ve never truly taken ownership of these for themselves. You need to be your first love; until you fall in love with self and learn to put you first, you have no right to expect it from anybody else. That means asserting absolute ownership of your body, heart, money, and home, and making them the last things you offer up in a relationship, not the first things you give up in order to get or keep one.
Stop chasing and losing. Start ATTRACTING and CHOOSING! Learn proven guidelines and principles GUARANTEED to make you happy and fulfilled REGARDLESS OF YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Use the power of self love to become an irresistible MAGNET for the lasting, drama-free, AUTHENTIC LOVE created specifically for you and ONLY you! Order your copy of Loving In The Grown Zone TODAY at LovingInTheGrownZone.com!