They try to convince you that they are better qualified to spend your money than you are. He may start out subtly at first, by casually mentioning your past financial mistakes, innocently questioning your spending habits or hinting that he is more savvy about money or business than you are. Your actual respective levels of financial education won’t matter; he’ll still, for example, infer and ultimately insist that his street-hustling experience trumps your MBA in finance. (Actually, the more professionally successful and financially independent you are, the more vulnerable you’ll be to the prospect of having someone else take on the burden of decision-making for once.) His ultimate goal is to convince you to relax and entrust all the financial decisions to him, for your own good. Soon, you’ll be expected to ask him for permission to spend your money—even if you are the primary breadwinner in the relationship.
They are ready to marry and/or make babies/be a parent to your children as soon as possible—often within months, weeks and even days of declaring undying love for you. Both marriage and procreation create legal (and often, practically permanent) avenues of access to your money. You may not think that’s a big deal, until someone decides you are worth more to them as an ex paying spousal and/or child support—or dead, if they are the primary beneficiary on your insurance policies, retirement accounts and other assets—than you are to them as a the “love of their life.”
Is a new love interest after your money? Or are their motives pure? You won’t find out by just asking; only time will tell. In the meantime, never forget that no matter how much you like a person, or how attracted they say they are to you, you do not know who they are. Do not give or lend money, or take on joint financial obligations. If you want someone to love you for who you are, don’t offer money and possessions. Offer them who you are, seeking only to learn who they are.
Remember this: The right person is worth the wait; the wrong person is never worth the risk. Take as long as necessary to learn the absolute truth about a person, in order to make healthy, self-loving decisions about his or her place in your life. To protect yourself and your finances, watch for the above signs, assert absolute authority and control over your money and bypass anyone who resents or resists your efforts to learn what you need to know to protect yourself.
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