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Oh Zara, all men cheat; every man is a dog.”

Yes, I’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating).

The one thing you’ll get used to hearing from me is that I will validate every thought and feeling you have, but will never, ever justify them. It’s where you are but not where you ought to stay. It’s impossible to remain as you are if you’ll continually and consistently keep a L.E.G. UP: LEARN ~ EMBRACE ~ GROW UP!

The next time you hear anyone (including yourself) say “All men cheat” or “Every man is a dog”, I’m hoping you’ll also hear my voice screaming: GROW UP!!!! There are no absolutes when it comes categorizing people, only choices.

I know a lot of men who take enormous pride in NOT being a ‘ho’ (Standard English Translation: whore)!

Not all men cheat. Not every man is penis-led. Not every man values a piece of PooNannie more than relationships of fidelity and mutual intimacy built on genuine caring and respect.  There are as many “good” men as there are “good” women—Grown men who equate respect for others with respect for self.

RELATED: 7 Signs That Your New Love Will Cheat On You

There are people who embrace fidelity as a lifestyle, not an option. And just as we know that women cheat too, there are men committed to fidelity.

For women who believe that all men cheat, you need to understand that you are a magnet. The men you’ve attracted are not drawn to you by accident. They are responding to your vibration. If you don’t want a cheater, you’ve got to first be committed to fidelity yourself, and then you can expect to attract a man whose lifestyle mirrors yours.

Be encouraged. We all start out in different places, with different circumstances, and those responsible for us when we were young have different ideologies which helped to formulate what we believe and shapes the perspectives we have of our world. There’s nothing innate about your ideology; you picked it up along the way.

It’s why I declare often that it’s just as important to UNlearn something every day as it is to learn something everyday.

It’s not the massive changes that transform you; it’s the gradual, incremental, continual decisions you make that make massive changes IN you. It’s why one of our Grown Zone mantras is: NEXT decision…BETTER than your LAST. It’s always within reach and never a set up for disappointment.

So, if you’re a “cheater” you may be an adult (male or female), but you’re not Grown. Grown folks know they’re fallible, so they’re honest, don’t make excuses, own what is, and they’re looking for ways to do better—all the time.