Have you ever been at home with a plan that did not include anybody else, and then the door bell rings? …and rings…and whoever it is at the door just won’t let up off of the bell? “Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong…” You hear the bell and you are trying with everything you’ve got to get “ready enough” to get to the door…”ding-dong, ding-DONG, DING-DONG…” By now, you’re yelling…”ALRIGHT!” or “WHO IS [...]
Your relationship is over. Now what? Single life is about more than just killing time between relationships and searching for someone new to love you. It's about taking the following steps to learn, grow and love yourself: Reflect. You must intentionally answer the question, “What just happened?” with a focus not on blaming or playing victim, but on exploring your choices, the emotions that drove them and your underlying beliefs. How do they compare to [...]
Have you had a difficult time finding someone with whom you can establish a great relationship that lasts beyond just a few months, before one or both of you have chosen to either break up or settle for being less than happy (rather than be alone)? If so, the challenge likely starts with why you chose to be together in the first place. Most of us were either taught to [...]
In the Grown Zone we teach what it means to make healthy, Grown decisions (not merely the adult choices you have the right to make, whether or not they are to your advantage). This includes challenging self-destructive beliefs about how to create and sustain healthy relationships, including marriages. Relationship education is key to protecting your business, career and finances. If your wealth, influence, visibility and status are on the rise, you are particularly vulnerable to making poor relationship choices. [...]
One of the most misleading myths related to how loving, healthy, romantic relationships are established is the concept of the “soulmate”–that one person, somewhere in the world, created (or in the language of the religious, anointed) just for you. This concept is promoted and celebrated in church, in books and especially in movies. Who can forget the climactic moment when Jerry Maguire (in the film of the same name) says [...]
How long should you wait before having sex with someone? This is one of the most commonly asked and hotly debated questions when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. Most people are taught to frame the decision of when to become sexually intimate as a matter of time, whether months, weeks, days or even hours. Just about everyone is familiar with the “90-Day Rule” popularized by the [...]
You say you want to be in a healthy, loving relationship. So why do your only options seem to be settling for less or being alone? If you are like most people, when asked about their dream relationship, you talk about wanting love, trust, respect, great sex, joyful intimacy and emotional safety. However, despite this near universal agreement on relationship desires and goals, the odds are that you are among [...]
You wanna know how your grandparents “worked through” their problems and didn’t divorce? ‘Cause ya grandmamma most likely didn’t have her own assets or income and depended on your grandfather to support her and the family. She had no choice but to work it out. Also, the stigma a divorced woman would face? Pfffffft. Trust me, a lot of y’all’s grandfathers are/were awful people and your grandmother would’ve left him [...]
An important step in making healthy decisions in the pursuit of loving, romantic relationships of honor, esteem and respect, is rejecting the romantic—and misguided—notions that many of us have been taught about what it takes to find love. It is critical that you identify and challenge these ideas and beliefs—whether planted by your parents, peers, popular culture, religious upbringing or other sources—and uproot them, especially when they don’t prove to [...]
The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself. You will never gain unconditional love and acceptance from others if you won’t give it to yourself. The above statements are one of the foundational principles of Grown Zone Relationship Education, one of the concepts we've identified as among the "15 Things Grown People Believe That Mere Adults Don't." Regardless of your relationship [...]
