Without a clearly defined guide to decision making in pursuit of healthy romantic relationships (such as that provided by our book Loving In The Grown Zone), it is surprisingly easy to end up in a relationship, including marriage, with an abusive partner. Unfortunately, when it comes to getting out of such relationships, it’s the exact opposite. Not only can it be extremely difficult to end a relationship with an abusive intimate partner, it can also be financially devastating, dangerous and even deadly, including for any children produced by the partnership. And incredibly, the stakes can be even higher when pursuing a divorce.
In the Grown Zone, our focus is on helping people to recognize unhealthy, toxic, potentially deadly relationship partners before committing to them. Breaking Bonds: How To Divorce An Abuser And Heal, A Survival Guide by Rosemary Lombardy, is written for those who literally need to get out of such relationships alive, while minimizing damage to their lives, emotional health, finances and capacity for recovery.
Lombardy is uniquely qualified to be the author of this book. The founder of Breaking Bonds (www.BreakingBonds.com), a blog and resource hub for abused women, she is a financial advisor with more than thirty-five years of experience. More importantly, Lombardy draws not only from the experiences of the women she has helped, but on her own experience of being married to and subsequently fighting to divorce a domestic abuser.
The result is a divorce survival guide that does what too few other books about marriage and divorce do—recognize that divorcing an abusive partner is not the same as any other split between marital partners. Lombardy covers everything from how to plan an escape from a partner (who might very well kill you if he or she knew your plans), to preparing for and protecting against financial violence during and after the divorce, to protecting your children at home and at school, and strategies to heal so your next relationship is healthy. By the way, although Lombardy is committed to helping women, this book is a valuable resource regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, just as marital and intimate partner abuse is a potential danger in any relationship.