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Drama kings do not hold themselves accountable for the outcomes of their choices. They blame others and refuse to share responsibility. Drama kings always present themselves as victims: of women, of their upbringing, of discrimination, of society, whatever. Anything will do. If you even hint that he bears primary responsibility for his life and choices, you either just don’t understand, or worse, you are a traitor and a hater. Watch out for men who have nothing good to say about their family, their exes, other women, other men or “them” and constantly talk about what “they” did or are doing to him. Drama. King.

When drama kings speak, it’s a consistent narrative of good intentions and bad outcomes. Their conversation is filled with wouldas, couldas, shouldas, and was aboutas. (Also, if onlys.) Drama kings are all potential and no performance.

Drama kings are vampires—they can be handsome, seductive and dangerously attractive. Also ready, willing and able to drain the life out of you. Ladies, it’s an act of both self love and self preservation to recognize drama kings before allowing access to your body, home, money or heart. Always remember: Like vampires, drama kings are counting on you to invite them in. That’s why they can be so irresistibly sweet, funny, sexy and just perfect for you at the beginning—they will be and do anything you need them to be and do to con their way into your life and sink their teeth into you.

Recognize drama kings when you see them, and avoid them at all costs. Don’t go by appearance—go by behavior over time. Ladies, this means no spontaneous intimacy or allowing instant access to your home, money, body and heart because he’s just so damn fine—or charming, or in need of love or just somebody to believe in him (all cons drama kings use to get you to let them in).

And gentlemen, if you see one in the mirror, it’s your job to conquer, dethrone and slay him. A drama king is the exact opposite of a Grown man.

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