“I’ll settle down when I find the right woman.”
A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for “All you can eat” has changed, not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord is all he wants to eat for the rest of his life!
Being a relationship partner’s No. 1 is a poor substitute for being his or her ONLY one. If you’re still competing, he or she is not yours.
A person has to be committed to fidelity on general principle; otherwise, there is nothing anybody can do or become that will change them (regardless of their gender or yours). Stop believing the lies that there’s somebody out there “hoing” around waiting for you to show up so they can change, or that you can love somebody enough to get them to suddenly love you more, to be committed to you, and to forsake all others for you.
People justify entering rotations all the time, but competing in itself is a desperate act, and desperation leads to more unloving acts against self, which creates bigger voids and self-love deficits, and more desperate acts in a futile effort to fill them. It’s among the most vicious of cycles.
You can have lots of worldly possessions and look pristine, all day every day, but if you enter a competition for love, your self worth will plummet. PERIOD.