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In the Grown Zone, we often disagree with conventional wisdom when it comes to love and relationships. In this 3-part series of videos, we point to widely promoted and popularly accepted relationship advice, and why it’s often overrated when it comes to choosing and maintaining healthy relationships. In Part 3 of this three-part series, we address the following piece of broadly accepted relationship advice:

Part 3: The definition of relationship success is staying together—no matter what.

Most relationship advice is focused on helping people to find relationships that lead to marriage and lifetime commitment. This includes those in the “divorce is not an option” camp, who believe in sustaining marriages no matter what. In the Grown Zone, we think differently. We believe that knowing when and how to end relationships, without guilt, shaming or bitterness, is far more important to your ability to find healthy love than finding and indiscriminately committing to them.

Every relationship you’ll ever have is for either a reason, a season or a lifetime, with only a precious few qualifying for lifetime status. Sadly, many people never get to discover healthy, loving lifetime relationships because they’re serving self-imposed life sentences in reason and season relationships. As we explain in our book Loving In The Grown Zone, to make room and be available for healthy relationships, you must become skilled at recognizing and committed to ending unhealthy ones. To do that, breaking up (including divorce) must always be an option, even if it’s not the first one.

Check back each week for a new Grown Zone Relationship Education video. And don’t miss the other two videos in this series, where we address two more pieces of “Popular Relationship Advice You Must Challenge To Find Healthy Love”:

Video 1 of 3: Communication is the key to healthy relationships.

Video 2 of 3: To find true love you need to understand the opposite sex.

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