Hearing the words “I love you” naturally makes us feel good, but when it’s used as an apology—a “get-out-of-jail-free” card for disrespect, abuse or neglect—it’s a lie, no matter how much we wish otherwise. Authentic loving is about how well you are being treated, not just how you are being made to feel. If he does not treat you with honor, esteem and respect—at all times, not just when he is trying to get back into your home, your bed, your purse and/or your good graces—let him go, no matter how many times he says “I love you.”
The truth may hurt, but only if you refuse to face it, accept it, and respond to it accordingly. The pain of the truth is temporary and ultimately healing—it indeed sets you free. Lies, on the other hand, imprison; they cause real damage and injury to lives and relationships. The first step to protecting yourself from the deceptions of others is to release your need to believe them. Once you know better, you can choose better.
People decide how to treat you largely by watching how you treat yourself. Fail to love yourself and others will follow your lead. Lying to yourself emboldens others to lie to you as well. Telling yourself that someone loves you when it’s not true is anything but an act of self-love.
Get away from those people who tell you how much they love you while continually or repeatedly committing unloving acts. Live in the Grown Zone.
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